According to FUNKTIONARY:

Easter – a Fornication Festival named after the Greek Temple fertility nymph “Astarte.” 2) a purely astro-theological holiday which moves back and forth from March to April due to its dependency upon the phases of the moon. [Easter, a roving date, is the first Sunday (solar holiday) after the first full moon (lunar holiday) after the Spring Equinox (celestial holiday), therefore it cannot be the date of the death of any historical personage]. At the time of Easter, the rising path of the sun intersects with, or crosses the line projection of the celestial equator where the sun is “crossified” or crucified on the intersection of the celestial equator; the so-called Jews refer to it as “Passover.” The crucifiction or crossing was, and still is determined by the full moon of Easter. Easter always falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox. This celebration is thus always on the Day of the Lord, in alignment with the cycle of (Regent) Luna. This celebration is called Easter, because it is in the East where we can see the victorious Light Bringer appearing above the horizon. Another explanation for this is that the name comes from the ancient word Eastre, which means spring. Another name for this celebration is Passover, which comes from the Hebrew word Pesach. We celebrate at Passover that Light has passed over Darkness. This resurrection is at the same time his (re-) birth. We then celebrate the come back of the light. It then takes nearly 90 days before the light is strong enough to pass over the darkness, which we celebrate at Pass-over. Easter, Palm Sunday, the Crucifiction, Christ-Mass, Betrayal of Christ, The Three Kings, the Assumption and Nativity of the Virgin, The 12 Apostles, Shiloh, Ass-Riding and the Resurrection are disguised celestial body or solar events allegorized. On Easter Sunday, after leaving church and waving his Bible to the cameras, Clinton rushed back to the White House where intern Monica Lewinsky was waiting to engage in her own Eucharist activities. (See: Crucifiction, Crossifiction, Mount Calvary, Golgatha, Passover, Surrection, Christ Consciousness, Buddha-Christ, Holy Crossover, The Bible, Upper Room, Eucharist, Ptolemy I, Lucifer, Jesus Christ, Realigion & Resurrection)