Campaign 2008: The stupid season
/From the Atlantic Free Press
by Ed Naha
by Ed Naha
In the 19th Democratic presidential candidate debate two weeks ago, following a laughable attempt by Hillary Clinton to come off as a diminutive Don Rickles, Barack Obama gave the camera a WTF? look and ascribed Clintons Xerox (NYSE:XRX) moment as being linked to the silly season of politics. I respectfully disagree. I think it represented the unrelenting stupid season of politics.
Looking at some of the recent actions of everyone from Nader to McCain, Russert to Matthews and Clinton to Obama well, its enough to drive any sane person to cry, I reject and denounce you all. Or, at the very least, lead you to drive a spike into your forehead and pretend youre Eustace the Unicorn, who lives in a land where no one is an idiot.
Exemplifying what were up against is Ralph Naders declaration that, once again, hell be running for President, presumably because Harold Stassen is still dead. Dissent is the mother of assent, Nader told Tim Bullfrog Russert on Meet the Press, and in that context I have decided to run for president. Great. In all fairness, this is a much better context for his run than he originally came up with. I like cheese.
Adding to the authenticity of his campaign, Nader chose former member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, Matt Gonzalez, as his running mate. Gonzalez assured voters that he would not enter any campaign I could not win. Not bad for a guy who lost in his attempts at being mayor and D.A.
Their campaign slogan: Unreal At Any Speed.
The always entertaining jockeying for the Democratic presidential nomination outdid itself in the past week or so, with Hillary Clinton emulating Sally Fields in Sybil.
Two days after saying she was honored to be running against Obama, Clinton sallied forth into snarkiness, mocking Obamas message of hope. Now, I could stand up here and say, Lets just get everybody together. Lets get unified. The sky will open. The lights will come down. Celestial choirs will be singing and everyone will know we should do the right thing and the world will be perfect.
Maybe Ive just lived a little long, but I have no illusions about how hard this is going to be. You are not going to wave a magic wand and have the special interests disappear.
Clinton caught herself before braying: You kids with your peace and love signs, your loud music, your protests. Back off. Let the adults handle it.
For Democrats, this is a tough race. With Obama, we get free kittens. With Clinton, we get detention.
Clinton has been all over the place in the last two weeks, chanting shame, shame on you, Barack Obama for his campaigns stooping so low as to say that Hillary had once supported NAFTA although she actually did. Taking the high road, she then released a TV ad stating, basically, if you vote for Obama, your kids are going to die when something happens in America at three in the morning and the White House phone rings. Clinton is obviously a night person. Obama needs his sleep.
Ironically, the ad ran the same week that everyones favorite pundit Bill Kristol advised Clinton to puncture Obamas wave of euphoria. She needs to puncture it. The way you puncture euphoria is reality, or to be more blunt, fear. I recommend to Senator Clinton (she use) the politics of fear.
Mission accomplished.
By the time the 20th Democratic debate rolled around, the ghost of Rod Serling was penning the script. At the outset, Clinton alluded to the fact that the press was treating her unfairly and that Obama was getting the kid glove treatment. Her proof? A sketch on Saturday Night Live. As we all know, as a valid reflection of whats going on in America, no show is more with it than Saturday Night Live especially since the cancellation of Mr. Ed.
So, hows Obamas free ride been going lately? After Michelle Obama stated that she was proud to be an American for the first time in her adult life, she was branded as being unpatriotic. A damning photo also circulated showing Obama standing at attention during The National Anthem but not putting his hand over his hearta practice heretofore unheard of. (You raise your hand to your heart during the Pledge of Allegiance.) He also was pummeled for not wearing an American flag pin (made in China) to prove hes patriotic.
Leading the pin(head) charge was Puglican Rep. Jack Kingston (GA), who appeared on various interview shows complaining about Obamas lack of lapel adornmentwhile not wearing an American flag pin himself.
Republican consultant Roger Stone sniffed: Many Americans will find the three things offensive. Barack Obamais part of the blame America first crowd.
Pollster Punchinello Frank Luntz, on Fox, asked a crowd analyzing the last Clinton-Obama debate: How many of you want them to make love to each other? I have no idea what Luntz ingests to get Mandingo flashbacks, but it cant be good.
Fox News also offered a news poll asking, Who do you think terrorist leader Usama bin Laden wants to win the presidential election? Obama won with 30% of Foxaholics seeing him as being a bin Laden kind of guy. At least Fox spelled bin Ladens first name with a U and not an O. I mean, they dont want to seem unfair.
MSNBC, meanwhile, flashed a photo of bin Laden during Hardball, while touting an upcoming story on Obama, causing Chris Matthews to apologize. Tomato, tomahto, Osama, Obama, whatever.
CNN launched an online poll asking Does Barack Obama show the proper patriotism for someone who wants to be president of the United States? As opposed to someone who doesnt?
On CNNs Glenn Beck barf-fest, Jonah Goldberg, who wouldnt know a Fascist from a face lift, snorted, re: Obama, I think one of the things that is decidedly fascistic, or at least just a bad idea, is looking for silver bullets. You know, when Barack Obama campaigns, hes basically saying, Im a silver bullet. Im going to solve all your problems just by electing me. FDR, Hitler, all these guys, they basically said, All your problems can be solved.
Off-screen, Goldberg reportedly began frothing at the mouth, confusing The Lone Ranger with The Wolfman. Both Maria Ouspenskaya and Tonto joined in to slap him silly.
A photo showing Obama in traditional local garb during a 2006 trip to Kenya suddenly appeared all over media outlets. All eyes were on the Clinton campaign in this veiled attempt to link Obama with the Muslim religion. True to form, they neither confirmed nor denied sending it out, kinda, sorta, maybe. Anyhow, it was all Obamas fault, anyway.
Stated Clinton campaign manager Maggie Williams: Enough. If Barack Obamas campaign wants to suggest that a photo of him wearing traditional Somali clothing is divisive, they should be ashamed. Hillary Clinton has worn the traditional clothing of countries she has visited and had those photos published widely.
This is nothing more than an obvious and transparent attempt to distract from the serious issues confronting our country today and to attempt to create the very divisions they claim to decry.
What Williams failed to say was: the only places Clinton wore traditional garb were in countries offering pantsuits.
Right-wing-nut Michael Savage apparently was fooled by the photo, ranting: And what about Muslim the Muslim connection to Obama? Barack Hussein Obama. Father Muslim, grandfather Muslim. Nothing wrong with that. But we, the American people, being at war with radical Islam have a have a need to know just exactly what kind of Muslim he was exposed to, what kind of Muslim he is, what kind of Muslim teachings hes hes friendly too. We have a right to know if hes a so-called friendly Muslim or one who aspires to more radical teachings.
Apparently, Obama is a really bad Muslim, in that hes a Christian.
Im sure glad the media folks are in Obamas corner. I mean, he could really be fighting off some off-the-wall charges, if they werent.
Speaking of off-the-wall, at the 20th Democratic debate, co-host Tim Russert outdid himself. Tim is the kind of journalist who, apparently, prepares his questions while reading a copy of The Onion and, then, with the theme of Jowls, er, I mean Jaws, playing in his head, closes in for the kill, facts be damned. He just seems to figure that if he holds his breath long enough, jabs an accusing finger at the interviewee and makes his eyes bulge while clinging to pages of spurious notes, hell come across as being a defender of the truth.
At the debate, he grumbled and growled until Clinton admitted that she regretted her Iraq vote. After the debate, Chris Matthews gushed over Russert, saying that ol Timmy reminded him of the fisherman in The Old Man And the Sea. Spewing sentences concerning hooking her, marlins, struggling and pulling her into the boat, Matthews did everything but present Russert with a laurel wreath. Russert beamed. It was a true Huntley-Brinkley momentif you watched Chet and David while you were on acid.
Russert saved his biggest delusional salvo for Obama. Last week, bi-polar poster boy Louis Farrakhan backed Obamas candidacy while appearing at a Nation of Islam convention. The pastor of Obamas church, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, admires Farrakhan. Since Farrakhan is openly anti-Semitic, Russert asked: Do you accept the support of Louis Farrakhan?
Obama, apparently thinking he was talking to a sane person, said that he didnt seek out Farrakhans support and denounced his anti-Semitic views. Not good enough. Do you reject his support? Russert demanded.
I cant say to somebody that he cant say that he thinks Im a good guy, Obama replied, obviously believing that free speech was somehow still prevalent in America. I have been very clear in my denunciations of him and his past statements.
Russert inflated his cheeks and furrowed his brows, making indignant noises; Perry Mason as played by Froggy the Gremlin. Hillary Clinton jumped into the fray, caterwauling about Obamas refusing to use the word reject. Theres a difference between denouncing and rejecting.
Then, something happened. Of late, Obama often gets this expression on his face. Its sort of like: Who the fuck are you people? Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?
Wearing that look, he said: Tim, I have to say I dont see a difference between denouncing and rejecting. Theres no formal offer of help from Minister Farrakhan that would involve me rejecting it. But if the word reject Senator Clinton feels is stronger than the word denounce, then Im happy to concede the point, and I would reject and denounce.
The audience actually LAUGHED at this crap, nearly drowning out the punchline, Clintons schoolmarm-ish Good. Good. Excellent.
A few days later, after a Texas activist and Clinton supporter Adelfa Callejo opined, Obamas problem is he happens to be black, reporters asked Clinton if she would reject or denounce Callejos verbiage. You know, she said, this is a free country. People get to express their opinions.
Meanwhile, Republican man of a thousand faces John McCain had a new problem of his own. After being called out for cozying up to lobbyists in the past and having a bus-full of them aboard his current campaign, (These people have honorable records, and theyre honorable people, and Im proud to have them as part of my team, he stated. I guess its those non-McCain lobbyists who are the fucktards.) McCain chased after and got the endorsement of Texas Pastor John Hagee; a real plus in McCains courtship of Christian conservatives.
The only problem with Hagee is that hes batshit crazy. Louis Farrakhans rants are small beer in comparison. Hagee thinks that the Catholic Church is a false cult system, often referring to it as The Great Whore. He thought Hurricane Katrina was an act of God sent to New Orleans because the city had a level of sin that was offensive to God. He believes that Israel and America will join forces to wipe Iran off the map, the only difference between a woman with PMS and a snarling Doberman pinscher is lipstick and that the Koran teaches that Muslims should kill Christians and Jews.
Nice.
Bill Donohue, president of the conservative Catholic League, was so impressed with McCains courtship of Hagee that he said: Senator Obama has repudiated the endorsement of Louis Farrakhan, another bigot. McCain should follow suit and retract his embrace of Hagee.
The difference between Obama and McCain is that Obama never chased after Farrakhans endorsement. McCain spent hundreds of dollars on Chapstick doing just that. And his reaction shows it.
Well I think its important to note that pastor John Hagee who has supported and endorsed my candidacy supports what I stand for and believe in. When he endorses me, it does not mean that I embrace everything that he stands for and believes. And I am very proud of the Pastor John Hagees spiritual leadership to thousands of people and I am proud of his commitment to the independence and the freedom of the state of Israel.
Denounce? Reject? Me know not these words.
As of this writing, Russert hasnt weighed in. He must be busy eating flies at home. Ribbit.
Now, Ive been a Democrat all my life. Im not swooning over Obama but I find it very disturbing when a dignified, well-spoken, optimistic and inspiring candidate comes along and is dissed for being, uh, dignified, well-spoken, optimistic and inspiring. Obama has run a pretty clean campaign and hasnt stooped to yelling Boo! or wagging his finger and launching into screeds beginning with Shes so old that
Yet, since intelligence really doesnt play into todays politics, you have Obama dancing, yet again, on the Ellen Degeneres Show. Look! Hes human! He may not be awake at three in the morning but he can bust a move!
On his press plane a couple of days ago, Obama joked: I call myself a dancing bear. They let me out of my cage. I do my dance. They let me back in my cage. They feed me occasionally. They let me work out. And, every once in a while, I break loose before they get the tranquilizers.
At least he KNOWS that this is the silly season.
He SEES the stupidity.
Most Republicans and political pundits have yet to notice.
Now, excuse me while I go prance with my fellow unicorns before my forehead really begins to hurt.
Looking at some of the recent actions of everyone from Nader to McCain, Russert to Matthews and Clinton to Obama well, its enough to drive any sane person to cry, I reject and denounce you all. Or, at the very least, lead you to drive a spike into your forehead and pretend youre Eustace the Unicorn, who lives in a land where no one is an idiot.
Exemplifying what were up against is Ralph Naders declaration that, once again, hell be running for President, presumably because Harold Stassen is still dead. Dissent is the mother of assent, Nader told Tim Bullfrog Russert on Meet the Press, and in that context I have decided to run for president. Great. In all fairness, this is a much better context for his run than he originally came up with. I like cheese.
Adding to the authenticity of his campaign, Nader chose former member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, Matt Gonzalez, as his running mate. Gonzalez assured voters that he would not enter any campaign I could not win. Not bad for a guy who lost in his attempts at being mayor and D.A.
Their campaign slogan: Unreal At Any Speed.
The always entertaining jockeying for the Democratic presidential nomination outdid itself in the past week or so, with Hillary Clinton emulating Sally Fields in Sybil.
Two days after saying she was honored to be running against Obama, Clinton sallied forth into snarkiness, mocking Obamas message of hope. Now, I could stand up here and say, Lets just get everybody together. Lets get unified. The sky will open. The lights will come down. Celestial choirs will be singing and everyone will know we should do the right thing and the world will be perfect.
Maybe Ive just lived a little long, but I have no illusions about how hard this is going to be. You are not going to wave a magic wand and have the special interests disappear.
Clinton caught herself before braying: You kids with your peace and love signs, your loud music, your protests. Back off. Let the adults handle it.
For Democrats, this is a tough race. With Obama, we get free kittens. With Clinton, we get detention.
Clinton has been all over the place in the last two weeks, chanting shame, shame on you, Barack Obama for his campaigns stooping so low as to say that Hillary had once supported NAFTA although she actually did. Taking the high road, she then released a TV ad stating, basically, if you vote for Obama, your kids are going to die when something happens in America at three in the morning and the White House phone rings. Clinton is obviously a night person. Obama needs his sleep.
Ironically, the ad ran the same week that everyones favorite pundit Bill Kristol advised Clinton to puncture Obamas wave of euphoria. She needs to puncture it. The way you puncture euphoria is reality, or to be more blunt, fear. I recommend to Senator Clinton (she use) the politics of fear.
Mission accomplished.
By the time the 20th Democratic debate rolled around, the ghost of Rod Serling was penning the script. At the outset, Clinton alluded to the fact that the press was treating her unfairly and that Obama was getting the kid glove treatment. Her proof? A sketch on Saturday Night Live. As we all know, as a valid reflection of whats going on in America, no show is more with it than Saturday Night Live especially since the cancellation of Mr. Ed.
So, hows Obamas free ride been going lately? After Michelle Obama stated that she was proud to be an American for the first time in her adult life, she was branded as being unpatriotic. A damning photo also circulated showing Obama standing at attention during The National Anthem but not putting his hand over his hearta practice heretofore unheard of. (You raise your hand to your heart during the Pledge of Allegiance.) He also was pummeled for not wearing an American flag pin (made in China) to prove hes patriotic.
Leading the pin(head) charge was Puglican Rep. Jack Kingston (GA), who appeared on various interview shows complaining about Obamas lack of lapel adornmentwhile not wearing an American flag pin himself.
Republican consultant Roger Stone sniffed: Many Americans will find the three things offensive. Barack Obamais part of the blame America first crowd.
Pollster Punchinello Frank Luntz, on Fox, asked a crowd analyzing the last Clinton-Obama debate: How many of you want them to make love to each other? I have no idea what Luntz ingests to get Mandingo flashbacks, but it cant be good.
Fox News also offered a news poll asking, Who do you think terrorist leader Usama bin Laden wants to win the presidential election? Obama won with 30% of Foxaholics seeing him as being a bin Laden kind of guy. At least Fox spelled bin Ladens first name with a U and not an O. I mean, they dont want to seem unfair.
MSNBC, meanwhile, flashed a photo of bin Laden during Hardball, while touting an upcoming story on Obama, causing Chris Matthews to apologize. Tomato, tomahto, Osama, Obama, whatever.
CNN launched an online poll asking Does Barack Obama show the proper patriotism for someone who wants to be president of the United States? As opposed to someone who doesnt?
On CNNs Glenn Beck barf-fest, Jonah Goldberg, who wouldnt know a Fascist from a face lift, snorted, re: Obama, I think one of the things that is decidedly fascistic, or at least just a bad idea, is looking for silver bullets. You know, when Barack Obama campaigns, hes basically saying, Im a silver bullet. Im going to solve all your problems just by electing me. FDR, Hitler, all these guys, they basically said, All your problems can be solved.
Off-screen, Goldberg reportedly began frothing at the mouth, confusing The Lone Ranger with The Wolfman. Both Maria Ouspenskaya and Tonto joined in to slap him silly.
A photo showing Obama in traditional local garb during a 2006 trip to Kenya suddenly appeared all over media outlets. All eyes were on the Clinton campaign in this veiled attempt to link Obama with the Muslim religion. True to form, they neither confirmed nor denied sending it out, kinda, sorta, maybe. Anyhow, it was all Obamas fault, anyway.
Stated Clinton campaign manager Maggie Williams: Enough. If Barack Obamas campaign wants to suggest that a photo of him wearing traditional Somali clothing is divisive, they should be ashamed. Hillary Clinton has worn the traditional clothing of countries she has visited and had those photos published widely.
This is nothing more than an obvious and transparent attempt to distract from the serious issues confronting our country today and to attempt to create the very divisions they claim to decry.
What Williams failed to say was: the only places Clinton wore traditional garb were in countries offering pantsuits.
Right-wing-nut Michael Savage apparently was fooled by the photo, ranting: And what about Muslim the Muslim connection to Obama? Barack Hussein Obama. Father Muslim, grandfather Muslim. Nothing wrong with that. But we, the American people, being at war with radical Islam have a have a need to know just exactly what kind of Muslim he was exposed to, what kind of Muslim he is, what kind of Muslim teachings hes hes friendly too. We have a right to know if hes a so-called friendly Muslim or one who aspires to more radical teachings.
Apparently, Obama is a really bad Muslim, in that hes a Christian.
Im sure glad the media folks are in Obamas corner. I mean, he could really be fighting off some off-the-wall charges, if they werent.
Speaking of off-the-wall, at the 20th Democratic debate, co-host Tim Russert outdid himself. Tim is the kind of journalist who, apparently, prepares his questions while reading a copy of The Onion and, then, with the theme of Jowls, er, I mean Jaws, playing in his head, closes in for the kill, facts be damned. He just seems to figure that if he holds his breath long enough, jabs an accusing finger at the interviewee and makes his eyes bulge while clinging to pages of spurious notes, hell come across as being a defender of the truth.
At the debate, he grumbled and growled until Clinton admitted that she regretted her Iraq vote. After the debate, Chris Matthews gushed over Russert, saying that ol Timmy reminded him of the fisherman in The Old Man And the Sea. Spewing sentences concerning hooking her, marlins, struggling and pulling her into the boat, Matthews did everything but present Russert with a laurel wreath. Russert beamed. It was a true Huntley-Brinkley momentif you watched Chet and David while you were on acid.
Russert saved his biggest delusional salvo for Obama. Last week, bi-polar poster boy Louis Farrakhan backed Obamas candidacy while appearing at a Nation of Islam convention. The pastor of Obamas church, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, admires Farrakhan. Since Farrakhan is openly anti-Semitic, Russert asked: Do you accept the support of Louis Farrakhan?
Obama, apparently thinking he was talking to a sane person, said that he didnt seek out Farrakhans support and denounced his anti-Semitic views. Not good enough. Do you reject his support? Russert demanded.
I cant say to somebody that he cant say that he thinks Im a good guy, Obama replied, obviously believing that free speech was somehow still prevalent in America. I have been very clear in my denunciations of him and his past statements.
Russert inflated his cheeks and furrowed his brows, making indignant noises; Perry Mason as played by Froggy the Gremlin. Hillary Clinton jumped into the fray, caterwauling about Obamas refusing to use the word reject. Theres a difference between denouncing and rejecting.
Then, something happened. Of late, Obama often gets this expression on his face. Its sort of like: Who the fuck are you people? Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?
Wearing that look, he said: Tim, I have to say I dont see a difference between denouncing and rejecting. Theres no formal offer of help from Minister Farrakhan that would involve me rejecting it. But if the word reject Senator Clinton feels is stronger than the word denounce, then Im happy to concede the point, and I would reject and denounce.
The audience actually LAUGHED at this crap, nearly drowning out the punchline, Clintons schoolmarm-ish Good. Good. Excellent.
A few days later, after a Texas activist and Clinton supporter Adelfa Callejo opined, Obamas problem is he happens to be black, reporters asked Clinton if she would reject or denounce Callejos verbiage. You know, she said, this is a free country. People get to express their opinions.
Meanwhile, Republican man of a thousand faces John McCain had a new problem of his own. After being called out for cozying up to lobbyists in the past and having a bus-full of them aboard his current campaign, (These people have honorable records, and theyre honorable people, and Im proud to have them as part of my team, he stated. I guess its those non-McCain lobbyists who are the fucktards.) McCain chased after and got the endorsement of Texas Pastor John Hagee; a real plus in McCains courtship of Christian conservatives.
The only problem with Hagee is that hes batshit crazy. Louis Farrakhans rants are small beer in comparison. Hagee thinks that the Catholic Church is a false cult system, often referring to it as The Great Whore. He thought Hurricane Katrina was an act of God sent to New Orleans because the city had a level of sin that was offensive to God. He believes that Israel and America will join forces to wipe Iran off the map, the only difference between a woman with PMS and a snarling Doberman pinscher is lipstick and that the Koran teaches that Muslims should kill Christians and Jews.
Nice.
Bill Donohue, president of the conservative Catholic League, was so impressed with McCains courtship of Hagee that he said: Senator Obama has repudiated the endorsement of Louis Farrakhan, another bigot. McCain should follow suit and retract his embrace of Hagee.
The difference between Obama and McCain is that Obama never chased after Farrakhans endorsement. McCain spent hundreds of dollars on Chapstick doing just that. And his reaction shows it.
Well I think its important to note that pastor John Hagee who has supported and endorsed my candidacy supports what I stand for and believe in. When he endorses me, it does not mean that I embrace everything that he stands for and believes. And I am very proud of the Pastor John Hagees spiritual leadership to thousands of people and I am proud of his commitment to the independence and the freedom of the state of Israel.
Denounce? Reject? Me know not these words.
As of this writing, Russert hasnt weighed in. He must be busy eating flies at home. Ribbit.
Now, Ive been a Democrat all my life. Im not swooning over Obama but I find it very disturbing when a dignified, well-spoken, optimistic and inspiring candidate comes along and is dissed for being, uh, dignified, well-spoken, optimistic and inspiring. Obama has run a pretty clean campaign and hasnt stooped to yelling Boo! or wagging his finger and launching into screeds beginning with Shes so old that
Yet, since intelligence really doesnt play into todays politics, you have Obama dancing, yet again, on the Ellen Degeneres Show. Look! Hes human! He may not be awake at three in the morning but he can bust a move!
On his press plane a couple of days ago, Obama joked: I call myself a dancing bear. They let me out of my cage. I do my dance. They let me back in my cage. They feed me occasionally. They let me work out. And, every once in a while, I break loose before they get the tranquilizers.
At least he KNOWS that this is the silly season.
He SEES the stupidity.
Most Republicans and political pundits have yet to notice.
Now, excuse me while I go prance with my fellow unicorns before my forehead really begins to hurt.
